If you stop long enough to think about bullying, you probably have horrifying flashbacks to something you’ve experienced. It’s one thing for us as adults to remember those difficult encounters, but another one entirely different to think about someone picking on your kid.

When our child experiences bullying, we’re ready for the gloves to come off because, let’s face it, nobody messes with MY child! The protector in us comes out, and, at the same time, we also know fighting our children’s battles doesn’t help them in the long run. They need to experience difficulty. So how do we figure out when to step in and when to let them handle it?

Check out this short video (less than four minutes) that will help you begin the dialogue with your child about bullying.

The BIGGEST help we can be as parents is to develop a plan for dealing with a bully. Dealing with a bully is somewhat progressive in nature, so let’s view these in steps.

STEP 1-Tell the person bullying to STOP and walk away. Saying to them, “Don’t talk to me that way,” and when you walk away, you take away their sense of power.

STEP 2-Confront the bully. Talk through a basic script that your child can use in confronting. “It’s not OK for you to treat me this way, and I won’t let it happen. If you don’t stop, I will tell an adult.”

STEP 3-It’s time to involve an adult. If it’s happening at school, explain the situation to the teacher. If it’s on the bus, speak with the bus driver. If it’s on a sports team, talk with the coach. If it’s a neighbor, speak with the child’s parents.

STEP 4-Next, involve that person’s direct supervisor. If the soccer coach doesn’t stop the bullying, it’s time to involve the league supervisor. If the school teacher isn’t stepping in, it’s time to speak with a principal.

The biggest assurance you can give your child is that God has equipped them to deal with this. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

Memorize this verse with your child, so they have the reminder that God has given them the power to deal with a bully.

Subject line: Part 1 of parenting class-The Selfish ChildCopy/Paste the following email:Parents,Hopefully you are past the days of your child throwing a tantrum in the floor when you tell them you absolutely will not buy them their 50th Barbie or Ninjago Character. There’s a phrase that surrounds kids like this-spoiled brat. No parent wants a spoiled child, so why is it so hard to say NO, when we know NO is the best answer?Check out this incredible video that gives us an idea as parents how to de-spoil our children.https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/81049959/9cfba15ca0So what about you? As you think through setting limits, being consistent and providing choices, which of these is most important for you right now? Is there one you struggle with more than the other?

Take some time to develop a plan for one of these areas and then practice being consistent with it!

As you watched the video about selfishness, I’m sure you found yourself saying, “YEP, my child can definitely be selfish!”

Here’s the reality-WE ALL ARE! Each of us looks for ways to get what we want out of life. Yeah, we say it’s not about us, but, in reality, most of us live like it is!The Israelites thousands of years ago did this same thing after being freed from slavery. They found themselves in the desert asking for more; more food, more water, more leadership.

Here’s the problem the Israelites found themselves in, and one we need to take heed of when it comes to parenting: The Israelites did NOT keep the end in mind! God was delivering them to the promised land for goodness sake, but all they could focus on was not having what they wanted in the present.Sound familiar!

Our kids can’t focus on the end because developmentally they can’t think that far ahead. But WE can. As parents we can keep the end in mind and make choices accordingly! Do we want our children to grow up to be selfless or selfish, generous or greedy? When we parent with the end in mind it helps us make better decisions in the moment.

Ultimately, we want our children to be completely satisfied in Jesus. Hebrews 13:5:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

So, when your kiddo asks for that next thing, whatever it may be big or small, let’s ask this question to them:
“Does this thing I desire help me become the person God has created me to be?”
This question helps us to keep the end in mind. And isn’t that the end goal, to help our children become the person God has created them to be?

Whether or not your child gets great grades or struggles academically we all feel the strain of helping our child succeed academically. So how do we do that well as parents?

Check out our video lesson for month for a little parenting coaching on how to help your child do well in school.

Every child learns differently and at different paces. We often find ourselves caught in the comparison game. Make sure you know your child’s strengths and that you’ve communicated those to your child. God created us all with strengths and weaknesses.

Articulating that to your child can be tough- “Hey buddy, you’re just not good at that.” However, helping our child to this realization will help them NOT feel like a failure if they happen to receive a failing grade.

Every child will struggle with an area of life. Even if your child is an academic superstar, they may struggle socially. We seem to all have a “thorn in our side.” A hero of our faith, Paul, said about himself in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to
torment me-to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for
power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with
weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

It’s OK that we have weaknesses. In fact, Paul helps us see that the power of God is displayed through our weaknesses. This is definitely a philosophical stance that helps us see that weaknesses don’t make us failures. Paul even goes so far as to say that God GAVE him this thorn in the flesh. A question to pose then, “Does God give us specific
weaknesses that we’ll deal with all of our lives?”

Here’s the harsh reality, even if our child struggles academically, he/she still HAS to get an education. How do we help them succeed to the best of his/her ability?

1. 1. Stop the comparison game and figure out with an expert (teacher/pediatrician) if your child is truly behind.
   2. Determine the subject/area in which your child struggles most and give that area attention. Don’t forget that many problems originate from a child’s inability to organize their things. Help them figure out a way to stay organized!
   3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your child’s teacher/pediatrician if tutoring will help. They’ll have a perspective that will help you know if your child is just a bit
      behind or has some sort of delay.
   4. If it comes to it, don’t be afraid to have your child assessed for special education. Many children just need the opportunity to learn differently and special education offers this. God has made your child fearfully and wonderfully, and ALL God’s works are wonderful! Know strengths, work on weaknesses. Many times our strengths teach us how to adapt our weaknesses.

We all want our children to live life fully. One of the joys of childhood is the innocence that allows them to live with reckless abandon. As our children get a little older they begin to see the “real world.” Accompanying that can be some real fears that take hold in their lives.

How do we as parents help them confront fears, deal with them, and move past them so that they don’t control our child’s mind? Take a look at this video to see an overview of helping your child deal with fear.

Reoccurring bad dreams, bellyaches before school, anxiety before a new event, and fear of the uncontrollable are some of the ways our kids are dealing with fear. Even if their fear seems a bit illegitimate to us, you can guarantee it’s very REAL to them. So, instead of glossing over their fear, or telling them, “Just don’t worry about it,” we want to walk you through the best way to walk your child through fear, anxiety, and worry.

The best way to deal with fear is to OVERCOME it. Many of the emotions God has given us are from Him. However, fear is NOT one of those. 2 Timothy 1:7 clearly tells us God has NOT given us a spirit of fear. So instead of telling our kiddos, don’t be afraid, here are some great tools for helping them overcome fear:

• Acknowledge the fear. Even if their fear seems silly to you, it’s real to them.
• Respond to your child’s fear with confidence. Memorize 2 Timothy 1:7. Say it over and over again until you and your child believe it. Children sense anxiety, so if you know they’re feeding off your fears, get yours in check first.
• Replace the “stinkin’ thinkin’” with good thoughts. Don’t dwell on the fear (if it’s a bad dream, don’t ask them to describe the dream), this just fuels that anxiety. It’s also not enough to tell them to STOP worrying. They need to REPLACE those thoughts with new ones. So help them figure out what to think about. Replace worry with a verse like the one in 2 Timothy OR Isaiah 41:10.
• Help the bad dream pass by thinking of a great vacation memory.
• For a child safety is developed through structure. Create routine for your family. Make sure it includes down time for great conversation, especially at night time.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.”

One of the biggest ways to help kids deal with fear is to create security. Tell them often how much they are loved by you and by God. Perfect love casts out fear. Dwell on the perfect love of God as you help your child understand he/she was NOT created to fear!